Halloween Safety Tips

From Jennifer Martinez

1 - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2 - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3 - Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4 - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5 - When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go alone. Hit the first person that says, "Let's split up."

6 - As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. It's just not that fun.

7 - Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8 - If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET OUT OF THERE ANYWAY!

9 - If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out.

10 - Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11 - If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12 - Don't fool with recombining DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13 - If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14 - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15 - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chain saws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16 - If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17 - Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

18 - If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.

19 - Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle. Make that two flashlights!

20 - Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.

21 - Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.

You're Making Me Do WHAT??

If you can believe it, the Army suddenly had the craziest idea...

"Ha," you're thinking, "the people who thought up Military Intelligence and Tactical Nuclear Weapons have a crazy idea? No way!"

But it's true.

Apparently, TPTB decided that the best use of SSG Felten would be to make him a recruiter. A DA Select, involuntarily detailed recruiter.

I told them that I couldn't sell a space heater to an Eskimo, but that landed on deaf ears.

So, yours truly will be putting his life on hold (again), going to Fort Jackson, SC for about 6 weeks, then moving to California. Probably the armpit known as L.A.

That's as wrong as two boys kissing in the back of church. But there it is.

So. What to do? Options:

1. Come up lame during the PT test. That will be held on the first day and will land me back at my desk within a week or two.
2. Develop Turretts Syndrome or a bad stutter (my apologies to anyone with either...but if you've got it, flaunt it).
3. Suck it up and do my duty.

Although 1 and 2 are appealing, would I be able to look at myself in the mirror at the end of each day? I doubt it. I consider recruiting a necessary evil. I know people (including Felton) who were stuck with this assignment. It is not what one would consider a "plumb gig". It absolutely blows. The most unappreciated job in the military. The hours suck, you work weekends, and your wife and children become people you pass on your way out the door. That's why the Army has to make you do it. Everyone on Active Duty at some time or another gets stuck with what we call a hardship tour. Recruiting, Drill Sergeant, a tour on the Korean DMZ. They all suck. They are all necessary. Someone has to do them. If everyone said "No way, not me", things simply wouldn't get done and the Army would grind to a halt.

Man. I feel like I got punched in the gut.

Ah well. Could be worse. I could be going back to Iraq. For a third time.

Thursday Diversion

cmorishita, originally uploaded by schadenfreude.

A kiss from Chisato always makes everything better.

Since I was gone 2 weeks...

Twins11
Originally uploaded by schadenfreude.

This only seems appropriate.

I'm Back!

Hello everyone!

I made it back in one piece from Louisiana. Believe me, I was beginning to have my doubts. It was quite the experience. I have the most profound respect for the guys out there who are running that show from the PSYOP end. The mission comes first. Their families suffer through the mission cycles. I asked one of the guys there how they do it. He simply handed me a message form stating that 2 PSYOP soldiers had been killed in Iraq.

That definitely answered the "why" aspect.

So, thanks to the guys out there at JRTC who are doing the day-to-day grind. It is appreciated.

'nuff said.

Dan Rather's future career?

The truth about Bush and the Economy

Unfortunately, we've had a few months of the Democrats screaming from the rooftops how bad the economy is under the Bush administration. Why is this bad? Because the market is dictated more than anything by consumer confidence. With the Democrats doing everything possible to erode consumer confidence to further their political agenda, they run the risk of creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. Let me elaborate.
Keynsian economic theory stipulates this: In a normal economy, there is a high level of employment, and everyone is spending their earnings as usual. This means there is a circular flow of money in the economy, as my spending becomes part of your earnings, and your spending becomes part of my earnings. But suppose something happens to shake consumer confidence in the economy. (Like some idiots in the Democratic Party doing their level best to shake consumer confidence) Worried consumers may then try to weather the coming economic hardship by saving their money. But because my spending is part of your earnings, my decision to hoard money makes things worse for you. And you, responding to your own difficult times, will start hoarding money too, making things even worse for me. So there's a vicious circle at work here: people hoard money in difficult times, but times become more difficult when people hoard money.
The cure for this, Keynes said, was for the central bank to expand the money supply. By putting more bills in people's hands, consumer confidence would return, people would spend, and the circular flow of money would be reestablished. Just that simple! The other method was for the federal government to put more money back into the economy in the form of tax relief. Holy Cow, the Bush Tax Refund to the rescue! Keynes phrase for this was "Priming the Pump".
So now we are back to Democratic supporters of John Kerry making statements on the economy which are at best, misunderstandings of the facts and at worst, total fabrications to further their own agendas. A report from the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office has Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry claiming it proves that “Over the last four years, the burden of taxes has shifted from the wealthy to the middle class.” C'mon, you heard him during the debates- He told us the Bush tax refunds were for the "upper 2% of the wage earners in this country", and the poor and working class had to carry the burden. This is one of the Kerry campaigns biggest mantra's!
Now for the facts. Not interpretations, or suppositions, but facts from a non-partisan Congressional study.
A report from the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office has Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry claiming it proves that “Over the last four years, the burden of taxes has shifted from the wealthy to the middle class.” The report proves that what President Bush said about his tax cuts is true: “Tax relief is for everyone who pays income taxes.”


It’s true for the rich, and it’s true for the not-so-rich. Across 109.4 million tax-paying households — from the wealthiest 1 percent with incomes averaging over $1 million to the lowest-earning 20 percent of people with incomes averaging $14,900 — the report shows that all income classes have seen their income tax rates lowered thanks to Bush’s cuts in 2001, 2002 and 2003. The CBO report shows how 2004 income tax rates have dropped for everyone compared with tax laws in force in 2000.
The report also shows that Bush’s tax cuts have been “progressive” — that is, they have shifted the share of the overall federal income tax burden toward the wealthy and away from lower-income earners. Without the Bush tax cuts, the highest-earning 20 percent of households this year would have paid 78.4 percent of all federal income taxes. Now, after the Bush tax cutes, their share of the burden has risen to 82.1 percent. Every other group now pays a smaller share of the total income tax burden. As can be demonstrated by the report, Kerry's statements on the tax burden being shouldered by the poor is a complete fabrication.
Finally, to refute the statements made by the Democratic supporters of John Kerry regarding the horrible state of the economy, and that things were infinately better during the Clinton years, here are a couple of other charts drawn from sources which are non-partisan.
Enough is enough, liberals. Better to remain silent and appear ignorant, than to open your mouths and remove all doubt.

John Kerry and Terrorism

At the debate , John Kerry, asked to give examples of the administration's deceptiveness on the "war on terrorism," said the following:

"Well, 45 minutes deployment of weapons of mass destruction, number one. Aerial vehicles to be able to deliver materials of mass destruction, number two. I mean, I -- nuclear weapons, number three. I could run a long list of clear misleading, clear exaggeration...."

On Oct. 9, 2002 John Kerry participated in "a long list of clear misleading, clear exaggerations," to put it mildly. In his speech on the floor of the Senate just before voting to authorize Bush to invade Iraq, Kerry said:

"Why is Saddam Hussein attempting to develop nuclear weapons when most nations don't even try? ... According to intelligence, Iraq has chemical and biological weapons ... Iraq is developing unmanned aerial vehicles capable of delivering chemical and biological warfare agents..."

Kerry became famous by asking senators "How do you ask a man to be the last man to die in Vietnam? How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?" Kerry is now himself a senator.

Mr. Kerry: How do you ask someone to die for your support of the invasion of Iraq? How do you ask someone to die for this mistake? More than a "mistake," how do you ask someone to die because you voted for an illegal , unconstitutional invasion? How do you ask Iraqis and Americans and others to die because you backed Bush?

How can you tell us that Bush was deceitful when you uttered many of the same falsehoods? How can you hold him accountable when you refuse to be held accountable yourself?

How can you be "electable" when you have many of the same skeletons in your closet as Bush? Do you really think the Republican machine won't cite your speech over and over again -- "Kerry claims that Bush lied when Kerry said many of the same things!" Fox will blare. Or, after you get the Democratic nomination, will you be quiet about Iraq, other than to talk about narrow issues like Halliburton -- searching for something, anything, that Bush is guilty of that you are not? You will come off as petty. Bush will come off as the visionary.

How could you have been deceived by the administration on Iraq? You tout your leadership and foreign policy experience. How could the idea of a government lying systematically about a war not been considered seriously by you, given your experience in Vietnam? How could you not know that Bush was lying even before the invasion?

How do you explain your speech -- lies in your speech that were known lies at the time.

You said:

The threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real, but it is not new. It has been with us since the end of the Persian Gulf War. It has been with us for the last four years -- since Saddam Hussein kicked out U.N. weapons inspectors at the end of 1998. And frankly, after Operation Desert Fox failed to force Iraq to readmit inspectors, the United States - and the international community -- erred in failing to find effective ways to compel Iraqi compliance, thus giving Saddam Hussein a free hand for four years to reconstitute his weapons of mass destruction programs and allowing the world to lose focus on the threat of proliferation.

Can you count the lies here? If anything, Hussein's weapons of mass destruction capability ended with the Gulf War, the exact opposite of what it claimed. Hussein did not "kick out U.N. weapons inspectors at the end of 1998." They were withdrawn by UNSCOM head Richard Butler at the behest of the Clinton administration so it could launch the "Desert Fox" bombing campaign on the eve of Clinton's scheduled impeachment vote. And "Desert Fox" did not "fail" to achieve Iraqi compliance, it succeeded in destroying UNSCOM. The U.S. government, well before Bush, clearly did not want a successful weapons inspection program. If Saddam could continue verifying his compliance, there would be more pressure to lift the draconian economic sanctions.

How can you talk of the administration rushing to war when you said:

But the Administration missed an opportunity two years ago and particularly a year ago after September 11th to address this issue. They regrettably, even clumsily, complicated their own case. The events of September 11 created a new understanding of the terrorist threat and the degree to which every nation is vulnerable. That understanding enabled the Administration to forge a broad and impressive coalition against terrorism. Had the Administration tried then to capitalize on this unity of spirit to build a coalition to disarm Iraq, we would not be debating this question now, just a few weeks before Congressional elections. The Administration's decision to engage on this issue now, rather than a year ago or earlier, and the manner in which it engaged has politicized and complicated the national debate and raised questions about the credibility of its case.

So that's what raises questions about the credibility of the administration -- the fact that they leveraged the Iraq invasion for the mid-term elections, not their pattern of lies. Mr. Kerry, you actually fault the administration for not being hawkish enough, for not immediately "capitalizing on" 9-11. It is clear that you merely offer a different flavor of U.S. corporate global control than the Bush administration.

For over a decade, no politician ever lost political ground by attacking Saddam. But you could be the first.

The Vice President Election Debate

The debate was extremely one-sided. People keep telling me that the vice-presidential debate is not significant. They seem to be forgetting that if Kerry were to be elected, which would be bad enough, he would be succeeded by Edwards if he were unable to serve his full term. I love the way the dems seem to conveniently be able to forget about such important issues. Edwards is obviously not as experienced, or as knowlegable as Cheney on issues such as national security, intelligence and foreign policy. Cheney knows his stuff and showed it while Edwards appears to be barely able to think for himself. Cheney did a great job of bringing Kerry's record out into the open. After the first debate, it seemed to have been temporarily forgotten. He called Edwards on the refusal to count Iraqi casualties, and also brought out the reality of the war and why Bush is obviously suited to be the Commander-in-Chief. While Edwards fumbled for words and showed an extreme lack of confidence, Cheney remained calm, confident and showed once again what a competent vice president he is. Edwards definitely failed in this debate.
Vice President Cheney won the debate last night. He showed confidence and didn't back down. He forced Edwards to explain Kerry's postitions and he was forceful yet subtle at the same time. Here are two quotes that I was really impressed with from the debate:“Senator, frankly, you have a record in the Senate that's not very distinguished. You missed 33 out of 36 meetings in the Judiciary Committee. Almost 70% of the meetings of the Intelligence Committee. You've missed a lot of key votes on tax policy, on energy, on Medicare reform. Your hometown newspaper has taken to calling you Senator Gone. You've got one of the worst attendance records in the United States Senate. Now, in my capacity as Vice President I am the President of the Senate, the presiding officer. I'm up in the Senate most Tuesdays when they're in session. The first time I ever met you was when you walked on the stage tonight.” -- Vice President Dick Cheney“So they, in effect, decided they would cast an anti-war vote, and they voted against the troops. Now, if they couldn't stand up to the pressures that Howard Dean represented, how can we expect them to standup to Al Qaeda?” -- Vice President Dick Cheney

Dems Draft Scare backfires

Dems Draft Scare backfires
Tuesday, the House or Representatives voted 2-402 against the reinstatement of the military draft. In the first Presidential debate, President Bush stated that our military would remain voluntary. The democrats have been trying to use the draft bills, introduced by Rangel and Hollings, as a scare tactic in this election season.
House Majority leader Tom DeLay said it all when he stated "This campaign is a baseless and malevolent concoction of the Democrat Party, and everyone in this chamber knows it. It has one purpose — to spread fear. To spread fear among an unsuspecting public, to undermine the War on Terror, to undermine our troops, to undermine our cause, and most of all, to undermine our commander in chief in an election year,"
Right now we have over 1.4 million troops in our military. To say we don't have the manpower we need is absurd. In addition, the cost of the draft would be astronomical if you consider the training bases and housing alone for the amount of people this draft proposal suggested.

Just A Few Things Before I Go

bush Lincoln
Originally uploaded by schadenfreude.

The debate (and ensuing commentary from our friends on the left) the other night left me with a couple of thoughts rattling around in my head. Let me get these off my chest before I leave for Fort Polk.

Some people automatically assume that John Kerry is smarter than George Bush.

Granted, Kerry and the President both graduated from Yale. Bush, however, went to Harvard and attained an MBA in business. The last time I checked, they aren't giving those away.

Mr. Bush is also the first POTUS with an MBA.

Kerry is a better public speaker. I willingly concede that point. The President will never win a Toastmasters award.

There were many famous people who were not graced with a silver tongue. Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein leap to mind.

President Bush flew Interceptors during the Vietnam era. The plane he flew, the F-102, was notoriously slow and difficult to handle. It was a real bitch getting it fast enough to catch up to the Soviet bombers prior to stalling out. The pilot had to be quite skilled and adept.

One more thing: no matter how much Kerry wants to have "bilateral talks" with North Korea, it's not going to happen, folks. The second he tries that little number, the PRK will walk from the table. We're going to need the pressure of China and the rest of Asia on this one.

Personally, I don't think that will pass his "Global Test".

I think he meant "French Test".

Ladies and Gentlemen....It's Dawn!

Due to my exciting and adventurous life, I will be "out of the net" from 5-22 October. The Army, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that my particular skill set is vital for a successful mission at the Joint Readiness Training Center located at beautiful Ft. Polk, Louisiana.

Some of you are already familiar with my friend Dawn. She is a well-spoken young lass, and will be blogging in my absence. Read her rants...they are very, very good.

Although I won't be leaving until Tuesday, I thought I'd better get the introductions out of the way. You'll really like her stuff, trust me.