Driving And Other Manners
Part I.
Damn! How a person merged into traffic used to be an indicator of how they merged into life among the masses. A guy could count on his neighbor to make a space to change lanes, and there was no question that a turn signal was an announcement of intent, ("Yeah, sure pal, c'mon in".) not ever construed to mean " I'm going there, be moving for me now". Headlights were for night, or rain. Parking lights were for...parking. Music was for inside your own car. I'm going to have speakers installed under my car, and play A.M. Radio at Imperial Address Volume whenever I begin to hear the big bass sounds of puberty. I really wish these guys would take better care of their hearing, because 10 years from now my son isn't going to want to have to shout when he tells them he wants fries with that.
Part II.
I keep getting calls from telemarketers. I'm pretty sure that the "do not call register" was supposed to eliminate this intrusion, but now I'm past the anger (which I need to save for duty hours) and it's time to have some sport with them instead. Here's 3 ideas to make the life of telemarketers more fun:
1. Repeat exactly, everything they say.
2. I have two kids under 4 years of age. I find that this is a good age for them to arrange for goods and services over the phone, besides, it's just good socialization for my future home-schoolers.
3. Ask them what they're wearing. One of two things will happen. You'll meet someone you can buy lingerie for, or your creepiness will make them take a break for coffee, and a hand washing.
Dismissal.
When I first met my wife, she was appalled that I never answered the phone when she would be at the apartment (bachelor cave) I'd say "But, you're here..." I only answered if it might be her. To be fair, she should have answered the thing anyway. She's the one that paid the bill to get it turned back on. She argued for a while before she realized that I only pay for something that provides for my needs, not the needs of telemarketers.
Oh well, what are you gonna do?
Damn! How a person merged into traffic used to be an indicator of how they merged into life among the masses. A guy could count on his neighbor to make a space to change lanes, and there was no question that a turn signal was an announcement of intent, ("Yeah, sure pal, c'mon in".) not ever construed to mean " I'm going there, be moving for me now". Headlights were for night, or rain. Parking lights were for...parking. Music was for inside your own car. I'm going to have speakers installed under my car, and play A.M. Radio at Imperial Address Volume whenever I begin to hear the big bass sounds of puberty. I really wish these guys would take better care of their hearing, because 10 years from now my son isn't going to want to have to shout when he tells them he wants fries with that.
Part II.
I keep getting calls from telemarketers. I'm pretty sure that the "do not call register" was supposed to eliminate this intrusion, but now I'm past the anger (which I need to save for duty hours) and it's time to have some sport with them instead. Here's 3 ideas to make the life of telemarketers more fun:
1. Repeat exactly, everything they say.
2. I have two kids under 4 years of age. I find that this is a good age for them to arrange for goods and services over the phone, besides, it's just good socialization for my future home-schoolers.
3. Ask them what they're wearing. One of two things will happen. You'll meet someone you can buy lingerie for, or your creepiness will make them take a break for coffee, and a hand washing.
Dismissal.
When I first met my wife, she was appalled that I never answered the phone when she would be at the apartment (bachelor cave) I'd say "But, you're here..." I only answered if it might be her. To be fair, she should have answered the thing anyway. She's the one that paid the bill to get it turned back on. She argued for a while before she realized that I only pay for something that provides for my needs, not the needs of telemarketers.
Oh well, what are you gonna do?
posted by Don Diego de la Vega @ 6:17 AM
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